SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My penis needs a shock collar
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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