Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
