Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
