im gay
i know
yea but for you.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
