Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
