seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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