I just pynch a tree in the face
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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