TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
