Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
