he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
