marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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