She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
