Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
