I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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