I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
