We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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