So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize