we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
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Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
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I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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