we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
