I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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