She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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