We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
