That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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