it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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