Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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