Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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