There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
