I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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