i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
