We won't sleep together?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
