Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
