i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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