im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
