i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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