Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The adults are the big ones right?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
