ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
