keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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