from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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