It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
