R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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