Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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