How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
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You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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