Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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