did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
