is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize