U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
