i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
