ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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