if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
