well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
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Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
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Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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