I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
