ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
