does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
