I'm going to jail i love you
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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