Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
