you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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