I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I can tuck mytits in my pants
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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