She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
