And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
